22 February 2011 was just a normal day. I was working at a law firm in Christchurch up on the 5th floor of our office building; and Scotty was working out on the farm with Karel.
I remember that day so clearly it's scary.
I was covering reception while the receptionist had her lunch from 12pm-1pm. The reception area was out the front of the office with all of the rooms out the back closed off by doors.
I was texting Scotty and we were talking about what we'd do that night - we thought it would be nice to ride our bikes out to Sumner.
And then just like that, everything changed...
The building started to shake hard and fast. I screamed and jumped under the desk. I held onto the underneath of the desk and just kept saying 'Please stop shaking, please stop shaking!' over and over again. It was in that moment that I thought I wasn't going to make it out of the building alive. I didn't think I'd ever see Scotty or any of my family again. I just kept waiting for the building to collapse and take me with it.
Finally like some kind of miracle the shaking stopped, but the building was still swaying from side to side.
I reached for my phone and called Scotty straight away. I was hysterical by this point so he couldn't make sense of what I was saying. Being out on the farm, a long way from the earthquake he hadn't felt anything and thought I'd gone out at lunchtime and been hit by a car. Even once he realised I was saying there'd been an earthquake he still had no idea how serious it was. He asked if he needed to come back into town but I was delirious by this point and didn't really know what was going on. Looking back now I'm so thankful I reached straight for my phone and called him because after that call the lines were too busy and there was no way of getting through to anyone.
By now one of the partners had come out to check that I was ok. Over the next 15 minutes we all met together and had to figure out how we were going to get out. The fancy glass lifts on the outside of the building were now shattered into a million pieces on the footpath.
One of the partners went down the stairwell to make sure we could get all the way to the bottom. We all followed after him having to leave all of our belongings behind except for our handbags and wallets. There were cracks in the stairwell that you could see through all the way to the ground.
As we exited the building the ground began to shake again and I remember screaming and running across to the river, dodging bricks as they fell from the building on the corner.
We all gathered by the river and had to try and figure out how we could all get home. We split up into 4 groups depending on where we lived (north, south, east, west) and started walking towards home.
I walked with some others to a friend's house and she was going to drive another friend and I home. Once we finally got to her house and got in the car we soon realised that driving wasn't going to be an option - the traffic was gridlocked.
So my friend and I got out of the car and started walking. It was the longest walk of my life. There were people screaming and crying everywhere, houses and buildings collapsed, and the ground was completely torn apart with liquefaction everywhere. I kept thinking that if I had to picture what 9/11 was like, it would be this. We walked arm in arm all the way home.
We finally got to my street and I looked up to see Scotty and Beckham (the Hawker family dog) walking towards us. I was so happy to see them both, but I was in too much shock to cry.
We walked my friend home who lived around the corner and then went back to see the damage at home. The driveway was so risen that we couldn't get into the garage. The kitchen was an absolute mess. Everything from the cupboards and fridge were smashed all over the floor. I remember being so annoyed that there was beer smashed everywhere and we didn't even drink.
Although our house was a mess, it was still standing and for that we were so grateful. We had no power and running water so we weren't going to be able to stay there.
I was a complete zombie, walking around trying to clean up and wipe up all the mess in the kitchen with tea towels because there was no water. We packed up everything from the freezer, packed some clothes and toiletries and got in the car.
I don't remember much over the following few days. We made our way very slowly over broken roads and footpaths and around piles of liquefaction out to the farm to stay with Karel and Janet. I am forever grateful to them for opening up their home to us and looking after us with no questions asked. I felt safe there, it was out of Christchurch and we couldn't feel the aftershocks.
Sitting out on the farm at Karel and Janet's Scotty and I were talking and that was when we decided that having a 'long engagement' to save for our wedding was pointless, money should never be a deciding factor when it comes to such important decisions. So, we got out the calendar and starting looking at dates. After lots of swapping and changing we finally decided on 9-10-11. I quickly called mum to tell her the news!
We were due to move to Perth on 27 March so I only had a couple of weeks left at my job. I had a week off while they were figuring out what they were going to do and trying to sign a new lease for offices away from the city.
I really didn't want to go back to work and I asked if I could work remotely from the farm but they needed me to go in and help set up the new office.
I didn't want to let them down so I reluctantly went back to work the following week. I borrowed a mountain bike off one of the partners because my bike was stuck in the carpark building in the city.
By now we were back at home and I hated being there. I hated every minute of the ride to work and home again in the afternoon. I was on edge every minute of every day waiting for the next big shake. There were aftershocks every day and every time they started I worried that it would be worse than the last.
We had to completely start from scratch at work, buying everything you can think of to start up an office - pens, pencils, computers, printers, files etc etc. I helped one of the partners shop one day until we had everything we needed.
I remember carrying my bag with me everywhere I went for about 2 weeks, I wouldn't leave my seat without it, and it was with me every time I left the house. It had a battery operated radio, torch, water, snacks and anything else I thought I'd need if there was another earthquake. It was my security blanket and made me feel safer.
Going through life over those few weeks was like nothing I've ever experienced before and I hope I never have to experience again. I was just a shell with nothing going on inside. I had no spark, no sense of humour. I couldn't even bring myself to sing along to the radio.
It certainly wasn't the farewell to Christchurch that we thought we'd have. We had to cancel our farewell party and barely got to say a proper goodbye to our friends and family.
And instead of leaving with the excitement of moving back one day, I left knowing that I could never live there again.
On the first anniversary of the earthquake I was working at a law firm in Perth - this time only one storey up. I tried to avoid the news or any articles online about it because I knew it would upset me. Once arriving at work it all seemed to hit me and come flooding back, so after a short while I was back at home again. I decided to watch the news since I was home and didn't have anywhere to be, thinking it might help. I sat on the couch and cried. Watching footage from the day and stories of so many people that lost loved ones - I felt truly blessed to be alive.
Writing this post was tough - there were quite a few tears. I've told the story a lot over the past three years, but writing it down and thinking about it in such detail made everything seem far too real.
In saying that, I think it's been therapeutic and also a timely reminder to make the most of every day; to appreciate what I've got in life and the people I get to spend my life with.
Something changed in me that day. It helped mould me into the person I am today, someone that cherishes every moment in life and lives life to the fullest. There's no second chances, once the time has passed you don't get it back. Don't let the days or weeks or months slip away without creating the best memories you can with the people that mean the most to you.
Don't wait until a traumatic experience or something bad to happen in your life before you start living the life you truly want. Start now! Spend your days doing things you love and with the people you love. And tell the people you care about how much they mean to you as often as you can, don't wait and think that you can do it later, or tomorrow.