On 4 September 2010 at 4.00am I was woken by an earthquake. At the time I had no idea what was happening. The whole house was moving and it felt like we were riding a huge wave in the middle of the ocean. Glass was smashing and I had no idea why. At first Scotty thought someone was breaking in, and it wasn't until later that we realised that it was an earthquake.
Half the reason I didn't know what was happening is because I didn't really know anything about earthquakes and I certainly didn't think I'd ever experience one. And the other reason I was so confused is because I was still drunk from the night before. Just 2 hours earlier Scotty had picked me up from a friend's house where I'd been at a dinner party. As usual I'd had too much to drink and had been sick in the toilet - so ladylike!
Once the house stopped moving I just wanted to go back to sleep. People kept calling and texting and all I could think was 'Just let me sleep!' I had no idea of the mayhem that was going on around me. Finally after trying to avoid all the calls I got out of bed and turned the tv on (I found out later that we were some of the lucky ones that still actually had power and water). It was all over the tv - 'Earthquake hits Christchurch!' It soon dawned on me the severity of the situation. Thank goodness nobody had lost their lives, but a lot of people had lost their homes or power and water, and the city was a mess.
It was later that day that I said to Scotty that I wasn't going to drink anymore. Of course he laughed at first and said 'That's what everyone says when they have a hangover'. But I told him I was serious and explained to him that I didn't like drinking or the fact that I never knew when I'd had enough before it was too late and I'd had too much.
I used to party as hard as the best of them and would end up in all kinds of drunken states. I'd drink so much that I wouldn't know what I was doing and I'd wake up the next morning not knowing what I'd done the night before.
To be honest, I'm not sure what changed, I just didn't want to drink anymore. I didn't like the fact that alcohol made me act in a way I wouldn't normally act and say things I wouldn't normally say. Even having one drink would go straight to my head and impair my decisions and I just didn't want that to happen anymore.
When I first started telling people that I didn't drink anymore they would laugh and say 'Yeah right!' My friends all gave me a hard time and joked saying it wouldn't last. After a while they soon realised that it wasn't just a fad and that I was serious about my decision.
Deciding not to drink was a big decision to make and it had a major impact on my life.
People felt uncomfortable having someone sober around when they were all drinking. I stopped being invited out for 'drinks' or to dinners or bbq's, and gradually lost a lot of friends because I didn't drink anymore. A lot of people have the misconception that someone that doesn't drink can't have fun or wouldn't want to spend time with people that were drinking. This isn't the case, I have more fun now than I ever did before, and I have the added bonus of actually remembering what I did. Unfortunately the truth is, a lot of those friendships were based around alcohol. And when you take alcohol out of the equation you find that you don't really have much in common, and your 'friendship' was in fact a lot of drunken rambling.
At the time it was upsetting to think that my friendships were falling apart, but I now know who I had real friendships with, and those are the people that support my decision not to drink and still enjoy my company.
I have made many new friends and those people have never known me to drink and wanted to build a friendship with me based on the person I am now.
I think it's really important to be yourself in every aspect of your life, and people that love you for who you are, are the people that you want in your life. Everyone is different, it would be pretty boring if we were all the same. And individuality is something that should be encouraged.
The earthquake isn't the reason I stopped drinking, but it was definitely a wake up call. Being drunk in a situation like that really opened my eyes. There have been many situations over the past 3 years where I've said 'This is one of those moments where I'm glad I don't drink'. One of those situations is when we had a family member that was dying last year and our family from NZ called very early in the morning for us to say goodbye to her. If we'd been drinking that night we wouldn't have been able to concentrate on one of the most important phone calls of our life.
Friends asked if I was going to drink on my wedding day - it was a celebration after all. My response was always the same - 'Why would I drink on the biggest day of my life and have my thoughts and memory impaired when I don't drink any other day'. I think special occasions are even more of a reason not to drink, that way you know exactly what you are doing and can remember every minute of it.
Being a non-drinker is a personal decision and it's not for everyone. Life is about finding out who you are and what kind of life you want to live, whatever that may or may not involve. As long as you are happy, and making the right decisions for your own life, then live your life the way you want to live it. And enjoy every moment!
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